Now that I'm a hardened criminal (see earlier post) I might as well own up to my previous crime. I recently met a policeman and told him the story and he put me at my ease by telling me that in his opinion (and he'd seen a few trials) the magistrate would look kindly on me due to the circumstances. You can judge for yourself.
Actually, I'd pretty much forgotten about this incident until my youngest son asked me if I'd ever broken the law. Coming from a child that's a fairly serious question that if not answered honestly can later on come back and haunt you. This is what happened.
About 25 years ago, on holiday in France, I was stung by a jellyfish on my wrist and my leg. It hurt like hell then calmed down and went away. Two days later I was back in England and frantically getting laundry sorted and bags repacked for a long weekend on our sailing boat which was then in the Solent.
On the Friday morning, exactly one week after the jellyfish sting, I noticed that the rash had come back and was itching a bit. I also noticed that I had a touch of the, er, runs. But nothing serious. On Friday evening we left. Being the start of an August Bank Holiday weekend and lovely weather forecast, the traffic was horrendous. And my stomach was beginning to rumble in a rather nasty fashion.
We reached, finally, the Hammersmith roundabout and yet another long, long traffic jam. There was no denying it. I HAD TO GO. There's a pub at that roundabout so we pulled in and I made a dash for the ladies room. To put it mildly, I anticipated a slightly disrupted weekend. And then I realised that I had at least another two hours in the car ahead of me and what would I do if.... So, I nicked a loo roll. I shoved it into my handbag and walked back to the car. I was a thief.
We lived in London for another three years and every time we went passed that pub I had a pang of conscience. I never did replace it and I only owned up to the crime in public, as it were, when my son asked the question. To be fair, he was fairly understanding although he couldn't resist telling me that stealing was stealing whatever the excuse (oh, and where had he learnt THAT from I wonder!).
I don't know if the pub is still there. If it isn't I don't suppose that it suffered any financial problems as a direct result of my crime. But I would say that, wouldn't I?
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